2log

The Road 2 Shambala: Exit 17-Uncle Tim's Mountain

Sam — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 13:27:42 CST

Matt Singer joins us live in-studio to inaugurate the brand new Hootenanny Studios, where busybody refrigerators and subterranean forms of mass transit may try, but can never prevent us from bringing you The Good Times. Matt performs several hot jams, the Lu warns us against the dangers of local riff-raff, plus the long-awaited debut of “Eugene’s Business,” a one-act play of dubious origins. The Good Times are but one click away!

I've always wanted to know this one thing.

candice — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 11:29:30 CST

Why can we butter bagels, but not cream-cheese or jelly them?

The Big 2logski

Shay — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 18:21:06 CST

"I'm meeting you half way, you stupid hippies"

- Richard Nixon's Head

Hey Hippie

gerrit — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:18:13 CST

Get a job, hippie! Quit looking at your psychedelia and playing with your imagination. Oh wait... in this case they're actually mathematicians. Well... get a real job!

Also, it's revealed that the Grateful Dead were sharp businessmen.

The whole world has gone topsy-turvy. This chart won't help clear anything up:

Strange Days

Shay — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:58:00 CST

Something's rotten in the kingdom of 2log; there are strange, inexplicable events plaguing this once serene land. Gerrit was the first to notice them, and tried to alert us, but we did not listen. Now even more weirdness approacheth. A mysterious group identifying itself as "The Feminist Majority" has started commenting angrily on the most innocuous posts. What's worse is that if you unmask these charlatans you find that the group is actually made up of Tim Allen (convicted felon), Jay Leno (noted crybaby and former 2log contest winner, under what now must be considered suspicious circumstances), and a surprisingly sane and healthy-looking Danny Bonaduce:

But it does not stop there. The arrival of these usurpers to the throne has been accompanied by a strange spell of invisibility cast upon all following commentators, so that none of their images appear, with or without a 'stache:

Where is the bold sir knight who could set things straight? perhaps brave Sir Robin could be of help:

Nooze Roundoff

Shay — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 04:04:06 CST

Today is the 25^th anniversary of Mikhail Gorbachev's appointment as the General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, and the 17^th anniversary of Janet Reno's confirmation by the United States senate to become the first female attorney General of the United States; as always, Google found a subtle way of working it into their logo:

Worst at Twiter

candice — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:13:36 CST

What is Twitter coming to?

I used to think it was useful, but I keep getting "follow" requests like this:

Funeral Resources? What kind of person follows this anyway? I can't get this picture out of my head: a paranoid person,expecting their aging parents to die at any moment, but oh thank god for microblogging, because we got dad's casket for 15% off, and wouldn't have been able to without @FuneralExpert.

Nooze Roundabout

Shay — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:17:40 CST

Today is the shared birthday of Sharon Stone, Shannon Tweed, Chuck Norris, Olivia Wilde, Carrie Underwood, Eva Herzigova, and Osama Bin Laden; as always, Google found a subtle way of working it into their logo:

Another List of Words

flav — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:26:01 CST

While we're listing words, here are some that the late, great David Foster Wallace apparently circled in his dictionary:

abulia
benthos
cete
distichous
exergue
fraktur
gravid
hypocorism
invidious
jacal
kohl
legatee
mendacious
neroli
ort
peccant
quinate
rebus
suint
talion
uxorious
valgus
witenagemot

There You Go Again

gerrit — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 08:34:33 CST

I decree that the following words or phrases should be considered derogatory, profane, or otherwise unfit for use in polite company by the year 2011.

Ausgezeichnet
Barrister
Barton Fink
Crankshaft
Dardanelles
Dyspeptic
Estes Kefauver
Hollandaise
Klickitat
Op/Ed
Petion
Ratatat
Segue
There
TürkoÄ�lu

Let's put our shaming fingers to work!

Nooze Roundout

Shay — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:17:54 CST

Today is the 20^th anniversary of Dr. Antonia Novello's swearing in as the first female Surgeon General of the United States, and as always, Google found a subtle way of working it into their logo:

The Dark Horse

gerrit — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 11:18:12 CST

We try to run a fair points competition here at 2log. And by fair, I mean grossly dishonest, corrupt, and prone to bribery.

But while conducting my routine audit of last week's points competition, I came across something weird. The winner of last week was one Ms. Florence the Diva Horse, a.k.a. Flo Sparkles Divine, a commenter who appeared once about a year ago and never commented since.

But you see, the particular algorithm that calculates the winner of the 2log points competition is something like the Goblet of Fire from Harry Potter. It seems to work by magic, and its word is gospel. In Harry Potter's fourth year, all of Hogwarts was atwitter when the goblet of fire chose Harry Potter as a fourth competitor for the Triwizard Tournament, in clear violation of the rules of the tournament guidelines. In his infinite wisdom, Dumbledore assumed the goblet knew best and allowed the contest to continue with all four, and was ultimately vindicated when the Triwizard Tournament ended with the death of the much-maligned Cedric Diggory (SPOILER ALERT).

Similarly, we may think it odd that the 2log has chosen "Flo Sparkles Divine" to win last week's competition, but we have to accept its wisdom. Thanks to all the 2loggers for your hard work writing entertaining articles for our readership, but roll out the red carpet for this week's reigning champion... that horse.

Nooze Roundup

Shay — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 07:27:25 CST

Some bits of recent news

Today is International Women's Day, and as always, Google found a subtle way of working it into their logo:

The Academy Awards were handed out yesterday, but one film was overlooked, though it dealt with the Iraq war, featured a well-known leading man testing his acting skills by playing a villain, and was only slightly less racist than Precious:

And finally, we have definitive proof that the internet will never replace the newspaper:

There's the Rub

Shay — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 11:48:52 CST

Obama puts on his best British accent and takes on the Bard:

(Last one, ~~I swear~~ I hope)

Come again...

Shay — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 09:29:40 CST

Another classic 2log post animated for your (dis)pleasure: