I was stunned to learn that a popular thing for dames do in the absence of dudes is debate who is the "Sexiest Senator." The hands-down favorite, according to off-the-record sources, is Scott Brown (R-MA, 2010-?).
Yeah, sure, I guess he's kind of cute... if noses shaped like portly tulip bulbs are your sort of thing.
Ladies... as always, you should've just asked me first, because I always happen to carry around my definitive list of sexiest senators.
His progressive and isolationist policies are enough to drive most wild. But for the rest of us, his devil-may-care tendency to take off his fashionable hat and showcase his fine head of hair drops our underoos to our toes.
Everyone loves a man in uniform. Lt. Col. Quintus Cincinnatus Lamar II served proudly in the Confederate army before being serving as Jefferson Davis' diplomatic envoy to Russia, England, and France.
You should all congratulate him and celebrate by treating yourself to a hearty rabbit stew (but be careful, both Rabbit Starvation and Rabbit Fever are real concerns).
And in case you've forgotten how terrible rabbits can be, please direct your attention to the following documentary:
Despite whatever we may think about the stimulus plan, we can all agree that a fully-realized high speed rail system in America will allow our nation's busy hobos to criss-cross the country in record time. Just think about the boost our economy will get when hobos are more efficiently able to trade beans for stories.
I can think of at least 800 hobos who stand to gain. Perhaps they'll be on next year's Fortune 800 list?
As inevitably happens, the dance-bizzlies go crinky-dunque
Matt Singer joins us live in-studio to inaugurate the brand new Hootenanny Studios, where busybody refrigerators and subterranean forms of mass transit may try, but can never prevent us from bringing you The Good Times. Matt performs several hot jams, the Lu warns us against the dangers of local riff-raff, plus the long-awaited debut of “Eugene’s Business,” a one-act play of dubious origins. The Good Times are but one click away!
Get a job, hippie! Quit looking at your psychedelia and playing with your imagination. Oh wait... in this case they're actually mathematicians. Well... get a real job!
