the blog that gets bizzy   2log
<nooze> Working out with hcg diet wins last week's competition! more >
News Roundup: Female Sexuality
Posted by Gerrit at 2007-10-17 15:05:24

Too many interesting factoids passing through the news wire on the subject to not link it up:

Don't worry, dudes, here's a link for you: swords, daggers, and axes for sale online

Permalink | 3 Comments | 462 points

Filed Under: news, links, female sexuality
Sex Naked Sex Butt Sex: An Unscientific 2log Poll
Posted by Sam Dingman at 2007-10-18 11:00:45

Those of you who deign to read our main page have perhaps noticed our latest article on "The Darjeeling Limited," part of our "3 For All" series, in which we combine 3 movie reviews into 1 hilarious hodge-podge.  What you have perhaps not noticed, unless you're a serious junkie, is this: though we have 3 "diggs" (hint: that's 1 digg for each reviewer), losing badly in the digg-off to this, which, at the moment, has 2,441 "diggs."    

Should we have amended the title of our "Darjeeling Limited: 3 For All" to be "Natalie Portman Naked?"  Discuss. 

That's the 2log for you: finger on the pulse of American cultural vicissitudes.

UPDATE: In the time it took to write this post (about 6 minutes), it is now 2,449-3.  Help us out people!


Permalink | 1 Comment | 28 points

Filed Under: links, female sexuality
I've Made a Huge Mistake
Posted by Gerrit at 2007-10-28 02:25:11

It's a well documented fact that girls like guys who are jerks on the outside, but nice deep on the inside.

I've always been nice on the outside, but a jerk on the inside.


Permalink | 3 Comments | 511 points

Filed Under: male sexuality, female sexuality
Me, You, and Everyone Juno
Posted by Gerrit at 2008-01-02 11:46:14

Surprise!  Pro-life and pro-choice camps are fighting.

At least it doesn't involve a bomb.  In fact, it's over the opposite of a bomb, but over Juno, runaway commercial success and best film of the past year according to people both skinny and fat.

Will from Horse's Ass claims the film for the left.  As does Campus Progress.  Yet Ross Douchehat (sp?) and the Pope's minions claim it for the right.  Rounding out the opinions, Slate uses big words to avoid saying whatever they really think, and Andrew Sullivan hasn't seen it so he hasn't had his chance to be wrong.

The funny thing is that, in the big picture, both pro-choice and pro-life sides find themselves in agreement.  Presented with a non-cliche take on abortion, both sides embrace the human, emotional story that goes with the fictional character's choice (emphasis mine).  Juno could be the rare film that actually unites opposing political beliefs.

The sad thing is that, rather than seizing this common ground as a unifying force, both camps are using it to continue re-enacting the blood feud that's been going on for years.  It's not a debate anymore.  It's a vendetta.  I don't think either side actually knows what it's fighting about, but they're fighting tooth and nail.

Anybody who watched this movie and were focused on its politics really missed the point.  I sat through the movie and didn't think "pro-life" or "pro-choice" even once.  It was a story about people, not a story about causes.  Just like the philosophical purists missed the point of the movie, the purists debating abortion rights miss the fact that behind the abortion debate are non-fictional human beings like Juno with real stories about the issue... young girls doing their best to struggle with a confusing situation.  If we heard more honest and personal stories about people's experience with abortion (or infanticide where abortion is restricted), I think we could take steps towards depolarizing the issue.

Permalink | 3 Comments | 18.13 points

Filed Under: movies, female sexuality
Posted by Gerrit at 2008-01-29 14:56:56

Ben suggested I post less theoretical stuff and keep it to light comedy.  He raises a good point.  Whenever I post on something dense, like P vs. NP, it makes it likely he'll skip over the funny stuff, like MATHS.

Unfortunately, I lust for the theory.  As an olive branch, here's some theoretical links about lust.

  • Famed Keynesian economist John Keynes was also a total geek.  Historians recently uncovered his private sex journal, in which he detailed the assorted dudes he banged around London (given code names like 16 year old under Etna and Jew boy).  Unfortunately, those saucy historians are positively stumped about what specific sex acts he was referring to.  He tallied and rated himself in three cryptic categories, "A", "C", and "W."   People assume "A" refers to, as Ben would say, doing it in the butt.  See the article for the raging debate as to what C and W mean.

  • What could make prostitution less salacious?  Economics!   How about a paper entitled "An Empirical Analysis of Street-Level Prostitution."  Interesting findings.  Prostitutes make an hourly wage of about $27 / hour, but with the poor hours it only translates to under $20,000 / year.  This is also fairly low, considering the fact that a hooker should expect a dozen instances of violence per year, and condoms are only used a quarter of the time.

    However, very few prostitutes go to jail.  They're far more likely to simply have sex with the arresting officer.

    Also, something I wouldn't have guessed, demand for prostitutes goes up heavily on July 4th, resulting in a 60% increase in the number of hookers available.  The existence of seasonal prostitutes isn't necessarily surprising... but does independence from Britain make dudes horny?

    Hat tip to Marginal Revolution 

  • A quick aside about female sexual fantasies so I can post a link I'd promised a friend I would.

    A friend was discussing, with some amount of shock, the female "rape fantasy" the other week.  Maybe I'm desensitized from having read Savage Love from a young age, but I tried to point out that particular fantasy is commonplace and well-documented .  Since it's apparently not as well known among dudes as I thought, here's a list of the most common female sexual fantasies, including the rape fantasy.
  • A feminist breakthrough!  In England, the second largest apparel retailer is now selling larger sized bras at the same price as smaller bras.  The real question... why do women's outfits with the least fabric typically cost the most?
  • And finally, the premiere issue in sexual politics... housework.  Again... economics makes it even less salacious.  No agreement here.  Dudes are right to be lazy.   Or wrong to be lazy.  or maybe they just need to leave the toilet seat up.

Permalink | 5 Comments | 97.95 points

Filed Under: male sexuality, female sexuality
Disfigured Dramatists
Posted by Gerrit at 2008-02-12 11:47:08

It's quite normal for incredibly hideous people to develop a career as a beloved comic actor, because their hideous face screams "don't take me seriously" 

It Plays in Sicily

Wallace Shawn

The Heartbreak Face

Ben Stiller


This guy

The "Hog" in Wild Hogs

John Travolta

A Career Killing Photo

An ugliness competition between a 2logger and Rob Corddry

Lately in Hollywood, we've seen a new trend of casting malformed people to play the lead in heartfelt, dramatic roles.   The reasoning is that actors' slightly grotesque-looking face will keep people watching, in the way that people slow down to watch a car crash.  This means that even if the movie is two and a half hours of boredom, people will remember the clown-like main character and describe it as uplifting.  It's the Cosmo Kramer effect:

"He is a loathsome, offensive brute.  Yet I cannot look away."

And therefore, a quick salute to Hollywood's A-list cadre of disfigured dramatists: 

In the Pianist, the Nazis were actually running away from him...

Adrien Brody

I'd rather see the trees than the Forest

Forest Whitaker

Every dog has his Day-Lewis

Daniel Day-Lewis

Steve EW-scemi

Steve Buscemi


Sean Penn

Any I forgot?

Permalink | 2 Comments | 56 points

Filed Under: acting, female sexuality
Battle of the Sexes
Posted by Gerrit at 2008-04-24 12:47:45

New York City is home to more single girls than single dudes.  Yet for quite some time I was singularly unable to meet an unattached lady anywhere in this city.  I looked everywhere I knew to look: video game stores, BBQ joints, NBA games, computer sales, action movies, and the Hustler club.  But somehow, there wasn't a single lady in sight.  Where were they?

Then one night I was walking back from a jog, and I passed by a fabric store which was having a meeting of its knitting club.  Nothing but ladies.  And it occurred to me.  Chicks and dudes are two completely different species.  If you weren't forced to be in a coeducational school with them for most of your life, you may never even meet somebody of the opposite gender.

As a public service to the single dudes and dudettes, I've compiled an exhaustive list of activities both genders like to do.  If you're looking for that special somebody, this is literally all you can do:

  • Winning the lottery
  • Not getting hit by semi trucks
  • Touring the chocolate factory while watching motorcycles jump through explosions
  • Winning the lottery a second time
  • Witch hunts
  • Feeling superior to other people
  • Giving your man a massage while he swills beer and watches football

Anything I overlooked can go in the comments.  Happy hunting!

Permalink | 1 Comment | 100 points

Filed Under: male sexuality, female sexuality
Posted Without Comment
Posted by Gerrit at 2008-06-25 12:58:55

Grope on a rope... hey, that rhymes!  Write that down and let's grab lunch.

Hat tip to Clusterflock

Permalink | 0 Comments | 0 points

Filed Under: pics, pix, male sexuality, female sexuality
Wow... Lefties Might Actually Be Elitist
Posted by Gerrit at 2008-08-06 11:15:35

Dear Inexplicably Prudish Lefties:

I don't know when lefties decided to become squishy, close-minded moralists, but give me a break.  Time was being intellectual meant you could embrace alternative viewpoints with an open mind.  Right now, I'd settle for having my side of the political spectrum not actively denigrating anyone who doesn't fit in their narrow-minded conception of the world.  Please accept that being smart and being wrong are not necessarily exclusive.

Dear Non-Lefties:

Please don't judge all people with college diplomas by the loudest idiots.  A seemingly shrinking number of us are willing to live and let live.  Of late, apologies for smears against the following:

Sturgis: Wonkette called McCain's stop at Sturgis a chance: "to praise the slobs for their slavish dependence on Muslim Arab petroleum."  I've only been once, but Sturgis is a blast.  Bikers represent one great embodiment of the counter-culture dream.  A life on the road in direct antithesis to the middle class status quo.  Sure, it's just escapism to too many people, but dreams of sticking it to the man at least get the rebel juices flowing.  If you don't understand, go rent Easy Rider or, if necessary, Wild Hogs. 

Miss Buffalo Chip: Oh no... McCain jokingly volunteered his wife for a topless beauty pageant!  It's creepy, NSFW, debaucherous or whatever Victorian critique the blogosphere wants to chuck at it.  Aren't the prudes supposed to be on the religious right?  Dan Savage already penned a better response than I ever could.  One highlight:

"People think it's cute when the elderly pretend that they've still got it and say mildly racy (not racist!) things about their leathery ol' spouses. These comments would be interpreted very differently if Obama made them not because Obama is black (or a Democrat) but because Obama is young and virile and his wife is a total fucking fox. "


Toby Keith: Democrat and Iraq War critic Toby Keith is under fire.  Knock it off!  Toby is one of the best entertainers we've got.  Along with Big & Rich and the Dixie Chicks, Keith helped put the jammin' beats back in country, giving the genre a renaissance after years of suffocatation at the hands of Garth Brooks, Tim McGraw, and George Strait. 

Lefties are attacking his song "Beer For My Horses," one of his greatest licks, for being pro-lynching.  To these critics, Toby can tell you where to stick that boot better than I can.  The first cut of the song was a collaboration with noted conservative icon Willie Nelson.  Interpret the lyrics however you like, but my take is that it's a jammin' tune about struggling for justice in an unjust world.  If you want to listen to good music, you'd better be ready to be offended, much as rap and rock were controversial at some point in ancient history.  If you want to listen to inoffensive music, have fun filling your iPod shuffle with Phil Collins, Jack Johnson, and Celine Dion.

Permalink | 3 Comments | 17.21 points

Filed Under: motorcycles, female sexuality, music
Come Party with the Biggest Celebrity in the World
Posted by Gerrit at 2008-08-28 10:54:13

Txt me

The Politico headline reads:

Dems nervous over Invesco risks

When it should actually read:

Anonymous Democrats Recommend Playing to Lose

Dems... do NOT absorb this defeatist logic.  Why are Democrats taking campaign suggestions from their opponents?  If McCain could fill a stadium, do you think he'd hesitate?  But he can't, because he's a shriveled, angry prune who can't even draw a crowd at his own convention.  Now he's reduced to taking petty potshots at Obama.  For the love of victory, do not get jittery at the knees.

Remember the underdog candidate for class president who complained that the election was a popularity contest?  Mere sour grapes before their inevitable crushing defeat.

Conceding on whether a crowd is "celebrity" or "grassroots" is focusing too much on the argument over words.  Ignore the words.  In messaging, the actual words account for only 7% of communication... 38% is auditory and 55% is visual.  I guarantee, nobody who's not a policy wonk is going to see a stadium full of thousands of people cheering loudly and think "He seems a little too popular to be president."  There's a reason advertisers always whip out the bandwagon effect to hock their Mentos. 

Obama also has the powerful hot girl effect going for him too...

Finally, don't be shy about partying with celebrities.  Politicians who are paper-pushers and policy wonks may excel at their job, but they don't know how to make the final leap.  In a media-driven culture, the name of the game is getting your smiling face on camera in any way you can.  Satoshi Kanazawa found that idiot couch potatoes mistake people they see on TV for their real-life friends.

The celeb factor is why John McCain has stayed popular despite having no meaningful legislative accomplishments.   He has even more Leno appearances than he has houses (13 to 8-ish).  Celebrity is literally the only thing McCain has going for him...  The Wedding Crashers, 24, The Daily Show... the man will literally prostitute himself for any blinking red light.  Heck, he'd even appear on YouPorn if it didn't dramatically throw off the camera's white balance.  McCain's not pissy that Obama is a celebrity, he's just pissy that Obama is better at it than he is.

Defeatists may complain that Obama doesn't want to appear to be a shallow celebrity.  Don't be ridiculous!  The man radiates gravity and intellectual heft.  Successfully painting Obama as Britney is about as much of a stretch as painting McCain as a good choice for president.

Tonight, all eyes should be tuned to our next president.  Tomorrow, we mock McCoot's veep choice.

Permalink | 2 Comments | 100 points

Filed Under: Election 2008, tactics, Baracknroll, communication, celebrity, female sexuality

The next contest ends in:
2015-05-01 16:00:00 GMT-06:00
Latest 2log Stylings
October 2007
  • News Roundup: Female Sexuality
  • Sex Naked Sex Butt Sex: An Unscientific 2log Poll
  • I've Made a Huge Mistake
    January 2008
  • Me, You, and Everyone Juno
  • Sexytime
    February 2008
  • Disfigured Dramatists
    April 2008
  • Battle of the Sexes
    June 2008
  • Posted Without Comment

  • Scoreboard
    Tulsa payday loan 0
    Gerrit 0
    Dana 0
    Mark 0
    The Phil Wells 0
    xrfllzzu 0
    Play poker online for real money 0
    Fashion Law 0
    Winston Smith 0
    Reputible hcg order online 0
    Recent Comments
    sNZksOydggwdN Nooze Roundup
    The Enola Redlegs The Novel Heard 'round the World, Page 2
    anon Why I Hate Bunnies
    Redleg Vote Obamney/Ryden
    anon Why I Hate Bunnies
    Caroline Why I Hate Bunnies
    ZergKing Why I Hate Bunnies
    MacFlavCarlson Read it! Read it now!
    Nikki Why I Hate Bunnies
    lover of nature a boy of peace New Yorkers REPRESENT!
    2pal Nooze Ticker
    **Currently in Super Duper Pooper Beta**
    What's new on our friend's blogs.
    Tagg Cloud
    r2s video games things that make you go "hmm" efforts grievances $$$ baseball haiku politics 2uote of the Day racism video lynx writing male sexuality sam@work podcasts qotd movies Baracknroll vlog ao2 backstage musicology female sexuality tactics movember music people more famous than us cunning linguistics
    Election 2008 Live2logs
  • Republican YouTube Debate
  • Nevada Democratic Debate
  • Super 2's-Day
  • Daily Nooze

  • Adrift in a Sea of Cliché by Shay
    0 points for the week

    Pocket Full of Cereal by Dana
    0 points for the week

    2 + 2 = 5 by Winston Smith
    0 points for the week

    The Phil Wells by The Phil Wells
    0 points for the week

    Taximan's Lament by Sam Dingman
    0 points for the week

    Good Question by Mark
    0 points for the week

    Lance Cashman is a Total Jerk-Off by The SWZA
    0 points for the week

    Reid About It by reid
    0 points for the week

    2 CDs by DJ Flav
    0 points for the week

    Nerd at Play by Syd
    0 points for the week

    The Altar of Entropy by Gerrit
    0 points for the week

    Fairly Accurate by Candice
    0 points for the week

    Search Using 2-gle