Bad news for my latest get-rich-quick scheme...
You see, a few years ago I realized that everybody and their GILF has the following IKEA lamp:
But nobody nor their NILF has the bulb for the lamp's arm. This is because it's some sort of metric size, and IKEA keeps the bulb scarce because Sweden is subject to socialist rationing. They even call it SPARSAM, which is Swedish for "I Am Sparse".
So on my latest trip to IKEA, I had an IDEA.
Instead of just getting the one bulb I needed, I would get greedy. I would pick up ALL of the SPARSAM light bulbs and sell it to my frenemies at warlord prices. I would exploit market inefficiencies and become a modern-day bulb baron. Then I would finally have enough money to fulfill my lifelong dream of turning myself into a duck.
But alas, the wily Scandanavians were one step ahead of me. By the time I got back, it seems every bulb but one had shattered. Convenient you monopolistic overlords. Almost too convenient...
And just like that, it was light's out for humanity's Halogen Age. Things shattered that day include light bulbs, a few Hamilton's worth of investment, and the dreams of one idealist.