In case you're confused by some of the more arcane rules of soccer, here's a primer of some of the weirder rules:
Much like billiards, players are not able to choose which country they represent until after they make their first goal.
A player is considered "out of bounds" if he steps outside the field of play and makes a pass at the referee's wife.
Color blind players who commit a severe penalty are offered the choice of a red or green card. Some players from poorer countries take the green card and attempt to immigrate to the United States.
Offsides is just another word for nothing left to lose.
No true fan is able to truly enjoy the game without the security of a Lloyds of London high-yield money market account. Visit your local branch today.
A yellow card dings the players credit rating by 15 points, whereas the red card dings their credit rating by 20 points. In some situations where the player already has a home loan and a stable credit history, the red card can be preferable.
The word "World" in the word World Cup refers exclusively to the known world of Western Europe and South America.
Teams are only allowed three substitutions per game. However, if any player gives birth to another player in midgame, it does not count as a substitution and the newborn is allowed to give his or her team a +1 player advantage.
Games have up to five minutes of stoppage time, wherein a player can temporarily slow the flow of time and pick a shooting angle with relative ease.
Hopefully this makes the final four easier to understand.