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Why I Hate Bunnies
Posted by DJ Flav at 2007-11-24 16:28:13

What with all the Thanksgiving cheer and Movember merriness, I thought it was high time to stir things up a little here at the 2log. Hence, allow me to share my hatred of nature's foulest creatures, a threat to our national security and an insult to all beings with eyes. I speak, of course, of the bunny rabbit.

I would just love to drop the proverbial hammer on all the bunnies that have invaded our planet. It is a rarely known fact that rabbits, or wabbits, are actually mutant lizards that glue fur to themselves to lure in cute little mice and tweety birds before killing them in cold blood. If you are still not convinced, allow me to quote from the Bible:

The rabbit, though it is bringing up the cud, yet the hoof it divideth not -- unclean it is to you.
Leviticus 11:5


So you see, bunnies are not only dangerous and an affront to humanity, but they apparently do not bathe as well. That is why I'm asking you to join me in ridding our precious earth of this cursed beast.

Will we succeed?

YOU DECIDE!!!!!!!!!!!

Permalink | 92 Comments | 10 points
Filed Under: rabbits, hatred, irrationality, preemption

Comments
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28 Sat, Nov 24 '07
05:19:43 PM
The rabbit is indeed a dangerous pest. Thank you for raising awareness of this menace. Perhaps tonight is the night a DJ will save many lives.
Reply
1 Sat, Nov 24 '07
05:29:38 PM
another point against them... they don't make a noise. and thus, when singing "Old MacDonald Had a Farm" should you choose "and on this farm he had a... RABBIT!" the class gasps. pauses. "with a... [silence] here and a..... [silence] there..." you're all po-mo past your years 5 year old biatch. in other words you're screwed. traumatized. damn the silent bunny-eared mutha-fuckas.
Reply
29 Sat, Nov 24 '07
11:24:24 PM
Always giving me the best of belly laughs.

Flav, will you marry me?
Reply
-28 Sat, Nov 24 '07
11:51:34 PM
You son of a bitch.
Reply
28 Sun, Nov 25 '07
12:12:06 AM
Sounds like Ben really hates bunnies.
Reply
393 Sun, Nov 25 '07
12:12:34 AM
I once went to an auction where you bid by making a rabbit noise.
Reply
811 Mon, Nov 26 '07
11:06:03 AM
Although many idiots think rabbit and rarebit the same, I do not. That said, I will eat the fuck out of any bunny, dead or alive, with the proper gravy.

So bludgeon away, I'm frickin starving.

And not for nothing, but Anya from Buffy blamed the musical episode wackiness on bunnies... or maybe midgets.

Either way, time's a wastin' and I'm not getting any fuller.
Reply
0 Sat, Jul 5 '08
07:45:47 PM
this is the stupid freakinn post i've ever read in my life.
no, you're not going to succeed, because i believe more people love animals than they do hate them. besides, bunnies have too good of a reputation for most people.

LOSE.
Reply
0 Sat, Jul 5 '08
07:47:03 PM
you just lose completely.
Reply
0 Mon, Jul 14 '08
03:51:49 PM
bunnies are clean. they're not the brightest fuzz balls but they're cleaner then cats. and look at them. they're soo cute.  
Reply
Point Bomb Sat, Aug 16 '08
01:33:12 PM
You are a cruel cruel man! Bunnies are loving and are very friendly! You know where you are going h-e-double L's!  
Reply
0 Fri, Dec 12 '08
02:59:06 PM
you suck balls you stupid bitch you are really stupid bunnies aren't killers and they do clean themselves every day...
 
Reply
Point Bomb Fri, Dec 12 '08
03:05:17 PM
you probaly still live in your parents basement you stupid son of a BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Reply
-192,837 Sat, Dec 13 '08
11:58:27 PM
hey listen up you take back every damn thing you said bout rabbits, mmk? They are nice, helpless creatures!
Reply
this stinks Sun, Dec 14 '08
12:00:16 AM
This is sooo stupid rabbits rock!
Reply
0 Sun, Dec 14 '08
12:01:08 AM
This is sooo stupid rabbits rock!
Reply
100 Tue, Dec 23 '08
11:53:01 PM
YOU SUCK.I hate you!!!!!So shut up and get a life
Reply
Point Bomb Fri, Dec 26 '08
01:17:53 PM
There's a happy feeling no one in the world can buy, as we pass around the coffee and the rabbit pie.
Reply
Point Bomb Mon, Jan 5 '09
07:23:56 AM
You idiot. Bunnies are poor defensless creatures that are cute and fluffy. ur 1 cruel idiot.  
Reply
0 Mon, Jan 26 '09
02:46:29 PM
ok hi.... when it says rabbits are unclean to us it means that we shouldn't eat them the bible has things like that for all animals that don't have split hooves.animals like cows for one,and deer things like that that have split hooves are things we can eat rabbits are cleaner than you will ever realize believe me i have a couple. you are just an idiot if you think rabbits aren't clean!
Reply
-10 Quadrillion Sun, Feb 1 '09
01:30:05 PM
you got to be kiddin' me. you are incredibly childish. grow up. get a life. it's not the rabbits that's the problem, it's people like you. get help.
Reply
0 Mon, Mar 9 '09
10:31:23 PM
YOU SUCK. bunnies or wabbits r cute!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Reply
-253,554,757,878,688,875,777,585,858 Sun, Mar 15 '09
05:13:42 PM
i hate you!you stink!and that is not what the bible says!it says,and the coney,because he cheweth cud,but divideth not the hoof;he is unclean unto you.-lev.11:5 you suck! bunnies are cool!
Reply
-9 googles Sun, Mar 15 '09
05:19:31 PM
i hate you!
Reply
Point Bomb Mon, Mar 16 '09
06:40:21 AM
Oy.
Reply
1 Mon, Mar 16 '09
01:42:02 PM
Hmm... I don't think negative 9 Googles is a lot of points. Google has a lot more points.

PS. Bunnies smell because they never shower.
Reply
11.5 Mon, Mar 16 '09
04:02:54 PM
Bunnies smell because they have a nose.
Reply
0 Sun, Apr 5 '09
11:16:01 AM
YOU ARE A FKN IDIOT!
WHY DO YOU PICK ON RABBITS WHEN THEY CANT EVEN DEFEND THEM SELF,RABITS ACTUALLY HELP OUT THIS PLANET!ALL CRETURES DO,I HATE SNAKES BUT A BITCHING BOUT IT IT LIFE DUDE DEAL WITH IT YOU STUPID MORON!!!!!!!  
Reply
your own Medicine Sun, Apr 5 '09
10:05:15 PM
What with all the Thanksgiving cheer and Movember merriness, I thought it was high time to stir things up a little here at the 2log. Hence, allow me to share my hatred of nature's foulest creatures, a threat to our national security and an insult to all beings with eyes. I speak, of course, of the King of Queens.
I would just love to drop the proverbial hammer on all the Doug Heffernans that have invaded our planet. It is a rarely known fact that Kevin James, or Kevin George Knipfing, is actually a mutant lizard that glues UPS shorts to himself to lure in stupid little scientologists and old comedians before killing their careers in cold blood. If you are still not convinced, allow me to quote from the Bible:

The King Of Queens, though it lasteth for nine seasons, yet did not make a single funny joke -- unclean it is to you.
TV-Guidicus 11:5

So you see, The King of Queens is not only dangerous and an affront to humanity, but he apparently does not bathe as well. That is why I'm asking you to join me in ridding our precious earth of this cursed beast.

Will we succeed?

YOU DECIDE!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
0 Tue, Apr 14 '09
11:28:09 AM
You guys are all so fucking weird. bunnies aren't mutants..lmao WTF?! all of you need to get your head checked because you have MAJOR problems.  
Reply
16 Tue, Apr 14 '09
11:57:59 AM
Ten-hut!
Reply
0 Sat, Apr 18 '09
11:42:59 AM
you are a freak you loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you try to show off infront of all the girls but gess what i am a girl and it does not work. I think you should be killed under a hammer. and that bibble thing was not true. the rabbit hater  
Reply
0 Sat, Apr 18 '09
03:16:18 PM
I love Bunnies and I think you're a fucking moron who should do something better with his time than think about how he wants to kill innocent fucking animals. Im also a comedienne. Not the funny dude.  
Reply
Yikes! Sat, Apr 18 '09
05:33:10 PM
i have 2 bunnies! your so cruel !and their not mutant lizards
Reply
Point Bomb Sat, Apr 18 '09
05:37:17 PM
how could you say that
Reply
-1.00e+132 Mon, Apr 20 '09
04:03:36 PM
that is very cruel if it werent for bunnies you would have mice and other stuff in your home. they do bathe themselves by licking themselves.so dont judge becuz in the after life yoou might become a bunny.WILL YOU KILL YOURSELF???? NO i dont think so bud.
Reply
32 Mon, Apr 20 '09
05:41:21 PM
Actually, I do kind of want to kill myself. long drag off cigarette
Reply
0 Fri, Apr 24 '09
03:26:05 PM
i have 2 pet bunnies!!! they are soo cute and nice!
 
Reply
0 Fri, Apr 24 '09
03:26:06 PM
i have 2 pet bunnies!!! they are soo cute and nice!
 
Reply
Point Bomb Sat, Apr 25 '09
03:44:00 AM
Flav's image is now #1 in google's image search for "Bunnies", hence the recent spike in puerile bile.
Reply
0 Thu, Apr 30 '09
01:34:17 AM
I can't believe I just wasted my time reading this. Most people have commented on the cleanliness of rabbits and how stupid this post was. I thank all of you. I have three rabbits and they are very clean. They actually seem to have their own perfumed scent mingled with the smell of fresh hay. They also love running around in the rain and they let me bathe them if they get dirty. So you are speaking out of your arse mate. PLus they are obviously vegetarians so will not eat mice and birds. BUt birds aside, would it really be a bad thing if they ate mice? Something for you to think about. I hope one day you will share something with the world that is actually inspired and educational...  
Reply
0 Tue, Jun 23 '09
12:29:58 PM
you are a straight up sicko. You animal hater.  
Reply
0 Tue, Jun 23 '09
12:30:01 PM
you are a straight up sicko. You animal hater.  
Reply
0 Tue, Jun 30 '09
06:43:45 PM
bunnies are cute not EVIL  
Reply
0 Tue, Jul 7 '09
03:24:04 PM
You're an idiot, that's the stupidist thing i ever heard.  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 10 '09
09:22:11 PM
why dont you keep you smart comments to yourself for those of us who actually DO love bunnies. they are the most harmless cut little things ever!!!!  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 10 '09
10:30:19 PM
i dont know why you make it your business to trash innocent little animals like bunnies  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 10 '09
10:30:28 PM
i dont know why you make it your business to trash innocent little animals like bunnies  
Reply
0 Mon, Jul 13 '09
04:01:04 PM
evil person thats so mean if you were the bunnies i wouls actually squash you
stupid bit**get a life and stop doing stupid stuff
Reply
Point Bomb Mon, Jul 13 '09
04:02:35 PM
idiot u might not like rabbits but u've got it all wrong rabbits are harmless but u wouldnt know that ur so mean and so bitchy type
Reply
0 Tue, Jul 14 '09
11:35:12 PM
You suck ASSHOLE.
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 17 '09
12:44:32 AM
i hate you and youre so exatoratede[eb;ljhbxasZ  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 17 '09
12:44:34 AM
i hate you and youre so exatoratede[eb;ljhbxasZ  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 17 '09
12:44:35 AM
i hate you and youre so exatoratede[eb;ljhbxasZ  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 17 '09
12:44:35 AM
i hate you and youre so exatoratede[eb;ljhbxasZ  
Reply
Point Bomb Mon, Jul 20 '09
11:33:10 AM
The conclusive answer: No. A rabbit does not chew a cud.

SOURCE: Dictionary.com:
What is the definition of cud? Tobacco chew qualifies as cud.

DEF #1
cud ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kd)
n.
Food regurgitated from the first stomach to the mouth of a ruminant
and chewed again.
Something held in the mouth and chewed, such as a quid of tobacco.
[Middle English, from Old English cudu.]

DEF #2
Main Entry: cud
Pronunciation: 'k&d, 'kud
Function: noun
: food brought up into the mouth by a ruminating animal from its first
stomach to be chewed again

DEF #3
cud
n 1: food of a ruminant regurgitated to be chewed again [syn: rechewed
food] 2: a wad of something chewable as tobacco [syn: chew, chaw,
quid, plug, wad]
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=cud

The rabbit's "caecal pellet" which is in controversy, is not chewed
but rather, it is swallowed whole. To qualify as cud, a wad must be
chewed.
Reply
999+1 Mon, Jul 20 '09
12:45:03 PM
@Onimax

I think we all learned something today.
Reply
0 Tue, Jul 21 '09
01:09:03 PM
Everyone has different oppinons mine is that bunnies r awesme.  
Reply
0 Wed, Jul 22 '09
01:04:48 PM
bunnies are harmless loving creatures whoever wrote this is plain stupid and ideaotic if you touch one hair on a live bunnies head I swear people won't like it  
Reply
Point Bomb Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:30:14 PM
you ass you ass you ass you ass i kill you now  
Reply
Point Bomb Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:30:18 PM
you ass you ass you ass you ass i kill you now  
Reply
Point Bomb Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:30:19 PM
you ass you ass you ass you ass i kill you now  
Reply
Point Bomb Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:30:21 PM
you ass you ass you ass you ass i kill you now  
Reply
Point Bomb Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:30:22 PM
you ass you ass you ass you ass i kill you now  
Reply
Point Bomb Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:30:22 PM
you ass you ass you ass you ass i kill you now  
Reply
Point Bomb Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:30:23 PM
you ass you ass you ass you ass i kill you now  
Reply
Point Bomb Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:30:23 PM
you ass you ass you ass you ass i kill you now  
Reply
Point Bomb Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:30:23 PM
you ass you ass you ass you ass i kill you now  
Reply
Point Bomb Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:30:24 PM
you ass you ass you ass you ass i kill you now  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:32:08 PM
teddy bears are not nose pickers they like pie ok i i i i i i i asshole  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:32:08 PM
teddy bears are not nose pickers they like pie ok i i i i i i i asshole  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:32:09 PM
teddy bears are not nose pickers they like pie ok i i i i i i i asshole  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:32:09 PM
teddy bears are not nose pickers they like pie ok i i i i i i i asshole  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:32:09 PM
teddy bears are not nose pickers they like pie ok i i i i i i i asshole  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:32:10 PM
teddy bears are not nose pickers they like pie ok i i i i i i i asshole  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:32:10 PM
teddy bears are not nose pickers they like pie ok i i i i i i i asshole  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:32:11 PM
teddy bears are not nose pickers they like pie ok i i i i i i i asshole  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:32:11 PM
teddy bears are not nose pickers they like pie ok i i i i i i i asshole  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:32:12 PM
teddy bears are not nose pickers they like pie ok i i i i i i i asshole  
Reply
0 Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:32:12 PM
teddy bears are not nose pickers they like pie ok i i i i i i i asshole  
Reply
1 Fri, Jul 31 '09
05:36:46 PM
I am not a nose picker. I like pie!
Reply
0 Wed, Aug 19 '09
02:17:24 PM
fuck you i love bunnies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you one day i will murder you and it'll be worth it if i go to jail
Reply
0 Tue, Aug 25 '09
12:10:17 PM
bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!! i share your beliefs. and support this effort!  
Reply
0 Sun, Sep 27 '09
09:58:55 PM
your the cold blooded person... and your retarded werewolf. what a waste of time.. you shoould make a chain for this and give it to someone who cares  
Reply
Point Bomb Sun, Sep 27 '09
09:59:26 PM
your the cold blooded person... and your retarded werewolf. what a waste of time.. you shoould make a chain for this and give it to someone who cares  
Reply
0 Sat, Nov 7 '09
04:46:46 PM
This is the stupidest thing I've ever read in my life. Ur dumb. So just shut up cuz no one cares whether u think bunnies r evil or not. Which there not. Ur just a douche bag. Life. Get one.  
Reply
0 Sat, Nov 21 '09
11:31:20 PM
bitch rabbits arent bad at all!!!! i would know i have two of them and they are awsome  
Reply
0 Sat, Nov 21 '09
11:31:29 PM
bitch, rabbits arent bad at all!!!! i would know i have two of them and they are awsome  
Reply
you don't even deserve points.... Thu, Dec 10 '09
11:56:37 AM
bunnies are awesome.. my cousin has one and they are probably the cutest, fuzziest, nicest animals around. Your head should be under that hammer. And how do bunnies threaten our national security? P.s. bunnies can't bath because, evidently, THEY HAVE NO RUNNING WATER OR BATHTUBS WHATSOEVER!  
Reply
0 Sun, Dec 27 '09
09:44:13 PM
The bunny rabbit must be destroyed. I suggest killing them, cutting them into small pieces, cooking them, and eating them.  
Reply
10 Tue, Dec 29 '09
03:46:42 AM
I'm shocked, not by this article but by the comments! I don't understand why all these rabbit lovers react like this (O_o)' I've got a rabbit of my own and love rabbits BUT I can tell that his article is JUST A JOKE! Relax people and learn how to laugh! Of course he doesn't think that rabbits are dirty mutants XD he's just joking around. I'm worried about your mental health to be able to think that he was serious (V_V)
Reply



What?
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