Dear Bicyclist by Fish & Sip:

Your loud exclamation was incorrect.  I am not an "asshole."  My definition of "asshole" is a bicyclist who runs red lights, aims his bicycle directly at a handsome pedestrian in the crosswalk who is surrounded on either side by unobstructed, bicycle-friendly road, swerves melodramatically, then yells obscenities at said innocent handsome pedestrian.  By my very narrow definition, the only asshole who was present would happen to be you, sir.

Dear Fish & Sip:

You confuse me endlessly.  What research convinced you people were craving a serving of seafood with a dingy coffee shop?  I've never heard anybody say "let's go out for a cup of joe and halibut."  I think you're always empty because your idea was bad.

Furthermore, your attempt to brand yourself as an "authentic Mediterranean food" establishment is even more confusing.  Nothing about the name Fish & Sip conjures up Mediterranean thought, unless you misspell the island nation as Sip-rus.  The only food I've seen you advertise is Fish and Chips, which is a British invention.  Get off our lawn!

Dear Me:

You are beautiful.