Not too long ago, Gerrit wrote about his new-found love of Deadliest Warrior.  It's the most badass show around. If you don't know, here's some info on the show, via Spike TV's website:

Each week on Deadliest Warrior, a new episode will pit two of the most feared warriors civilization has ever known against each other. Along with the use of 21st century science and the latest in CGI technology, each episode enlists warrior-specific world-class fighters and experts to provide insight into what makes these combatants tick, analyzing every facet of their unique skills of destruction, culminating in a head-to-head final fight between two legends of the battlefield that will produce the deadliest warrior. Other highly-anticipated showdowns this season include: Pirate vs. Knight, Taliban vs. IRA, Yakuza vs. Mafia, Viking vs. Samurai, Green Beret vs. Spetznaz, Maori vs. Shaolin Monks, William Wallace vs. Shaka Zulu and Ninja vs. Spartan.

Man, we love this show.  In fact, every week, many of us 2loggers and fellow friends get together to watch the show. We even try to eat food that matches the theme of the show (that's right, we ate Pirate's Booty during Pirate vs. Knight).

I'd like to think outside the proverbial box for a minute and present a few new pairings I'd like to see:

Grimace vs. Birdie the Early Bird
 

• Grimace.  Grimace is basically a very clumsy purple blob with a creepy smile.  Is he a gumdrop with legs?  Some sort of seed?  A purple Gusher?  I have no idea.  What I do know is this: Grimace has a dirty secret.  That's right.  When he first came on to the scene, Grimace went by the name of the "Evil Grimace." He had TWO PAIRS OF ARMS.  Why?  TO STEAL MILKSHAKES.  Folks, you cannot fuck with that.  I don't trust this bumbling fool.

• Birdie the Early Bird. Another member of McDonaldland known for being clumsy, Birdie the Early Bird is not good at flying.  Ronald McDonald discovered her one day after she fell from the sky enclosed in an egg.  She wears an ugly pink jumpsuit/stonewash denim jacket combo and pretends to be an artist.  She is basically like a hipster in bird form.
  
  Advantage: Grimace.  Never trust someone who hides their former alias.

Ren Höek vs. Wishbone

• Ren Höek.  This cartoon Chihuahua is known as a "psychotic asthma-hound."  He's malnourished, ill-tempered, and vulgar.  In an episode known as "Ren's Pecs," Höek coerces Stimpy to remove the fat from his butt to put them in his pecs.  Höek bulks up, becomes even more of an arrogant, roid-raging asshole, and disses Stimpy.

• Wishbone.  Known as the "the little dog with a big imagination," Wishbone is able to transform his dreams into wild adventures.  He is a cute and loveable Jack Russell Terrier, but perhaps a bit self-centered.
  
  Advantage:  Wishbone.  Höek may have the rage, but Wishbone has a greater knowledge of historical battles.

 Hatshepsut vs Hua Mulan

• Hatshepsut.  The most famous woman pharoah of Ancient Egypt, she reigned for nearly 22 years.  She led successful military campaigns and established trade networks which began to flourish under her rule. Hatshepsut wore full pharaonic regalia, including the traditional false beard.  There were many attempts to remove her from pharoanic records.  Even many public monuments to her were destroyed.  Despite the haters, we still know that she was awesome, even nearly 4000 years later.

• Hua Mulan.  Although it is unclear whether or not Hua Mulan was a real person, she was a fierce ancient Chinese warrior who joined an army of men.  She did everything for herself independently and was a master of disguise.  When she revealed that she was a woman, she was still highly respected.
  
  Advantage:  Hua Mulan.  Hatshepsut had money and fame, but Hua Mulan gained and maintained respect.  Plus, Disney has not yet made a cartoon movie about Hatshepsut.

April O'Neil vs. Lois Lane (thanks, Dana)

• April O'Neil.  Dressed in a bright yellow jumpsuit and white boots, she commands attention.  She is a jack (jane?) of all trades: a talented computer programmer, an owner of an antique shop, and, most famously, a reporter for Channel 6 News. Independent yet flexible, she lived in her own apartment in New York City but was forced to move several times to follow her story with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  Best of all, she lives with real ninjas.

• Lois Lane.  Described as an "aggressive, career-minded" reporter for The Daily Planet, Lois Lane is a moderately attractive and fairly successful woman.  Depending on which version of Lois Lane we're talking about, she either falls in love with Clark Kent, or doesn't.  This gives her a mutable quality.
  
  Advantage:  April O'Neil.  Lois Lane, though successful for her time, cannot quite match up to April O'Neil.  Lane often gets saved by Superman, but O'Neil often helps save the day for the Turtles.
  

Michael Jackson vs Prince

•  Michael Jackson.  A master of transformation, the "King of Pop" has staying power.  He has received 19 Grammy Awards, 22 American Music Awards, and 12 World Music Awards, and has sold over 750 million records worldwide. His signature move "The Moonwalk" has captivated audiences for decades.  Despite a number of failed relationships and pedophilia charges, he can turn into a zombie, lives in a theme park he created for himself, and has had a number of surgeries over the years, making him virtually unrecognizable from his former self.  Despite this, he is known as one of the world's most famous men.
• Prince.  He has been known by an unpronounceable symbol, or The Artist Formerly Known as Prince.  He has won seven Grammy Awards, a Golden Globe, and an Academy Award.  His songs have been known to be sexually explicit.  His song "Darling Nikki" inspired Tipper Gore to found the Parents Music Resource Center, most notable for establishing the "Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics" label on the covers of records.  He has had a number of celebrity romances, including one with 2log favorite Carmen Electra.  In 2006, he was voted "World's Sexiest Vegetarian" via an online poll on PETA's website.
  
  Advantage:  Even.  Both are equally talented and weird.