Here are my issues for today.  Answers are welcome in the comment section:

1. Since we seem to be on a bit of green energy kick here, does anybody remember the ads for that show on the Sundance Channel called "The Green?"  It featured thirtysomething hipsters with "whoopsy!" looks on their faces and then a quote, for example, "I thought 'carbon footprint' referred to my shoe size."  And I would always see that and think, "Why does that make any sense?  Does this person wear carbon shoes?  Just because it says 'footprint,' it's unreasonable to assume the person would completely disregard the word 'carbon' upon hearing the phrase 'carbon footprint,' and that's on the assumption that they've never heard the phrase before, which is unlikely, because it seems like all I ever hear about these days is carbon footprints."  Also, the tagline was "Thanks for sharing.  We're here to help."  As if some thirtysomething hipster said to his/herself: "I shall send in the corniest joke I can think of, in hopes that the Sundance Channel, in its infinite worldliness, might enlighten me on envrironmental matters." 

2. The other day I saw a cop car, siren's squealin', following a car being towed by a tow-truck.  Everyone was going about 8 m.p.h.  Did the cop really think the towed car was a flight risk?  Or, in the event that the cop was actually after the tow-truck driver, does the owner of the car get a free tow?

3. Why does someone as lame as Saxby Chambliss get to have a name as sweet as Saxby Chambliss?

4. Instead of hating cab drivers, why don't people direct their rage at those maniacs who sell bubble guns on the street, and blow them right in your FACE at will?

5. I saw this truck with adidas logos all over it, and pictures of all these people doing awesome things while wearing adidas.  And it said "text TRUCKS to 54215."  Why would I do that?  Would it make the truck drive directly to my house and give me free shoes?  I decided it was a worth a shot.  You know what happened?  Nothing.  Except AT & T got ten cents.