That’s Why It’s Called an “Assault” Rifle

And, why  YOU SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO OWN ONE.Rest in peace, victims of latest wingnut. And rest in peace, future victims of wingnuts still allowed to purchase legally and own SEMI-AUTOMATIC AR-15s that hold 100-ROUND DRUM MAGS.To all talking about how an armed movie patron could’ve stopped the shooter:  BULLSHIT. No gun owner in his right mind would …

The Novel Heard ’round the World, Page 2

In lieu of editing my bunny post–as I wish to preserve it for posterity in its infamous original form–I hereby submit the following sincere apology, as per the request of “ZergKing.” It comes in the form of the second page of a “novel heard ’round the world,” devised by the ingenious Redleg (of the Enola Redlegs). Check out the rules, …

Butter…Butter Get Yourself to the Gym

Because I was born with an innate need for Hydrox cookies (I eat 4-5 packages a day, on average, to keep my soul satisfied), I need to go to the gym to keep my weight below absurd levels.  I really dig sports, but can’t get down with gyms. They’re always the wrong temperature, they’re always boring, and …